The Second Marriage: Tips for Success

November 29th, 20108:24 pm

0


The Second Marriage: Tips for Success

With almost half of all marriages in the United States today ending in annulment or divorce, is there really any wonder why second marriages are becoming all the more popular?  We all learn from our mistakes and move on to be better people, which is what a second marriage should be all about.  Though some men and woman may be afraid to jump into a second marriage, remind yourself that all because that first marriage didn’t work out, it doesn’t mean that your second marriage is doomed for failure.  Here are some things for you to keep in mind so that you know your second marriage will be a success:

Correct your Errors

As much as you may love pointing the finger at your ex and accusing them for everything that went wrong in the marriage, take a minute or more) and point the finger back at yourself.  Every relationship breaks down because of two people; so what was your role?  What mistakes did you make that you would like to make sure don’t happen again?  Take out a pen and write these down.  You can then reflect on these changes you want to make and make sure that you will change the way you and your spouse both deal with conflict in the future.

Be You

Before getting into a second marriage, you must fully restore yourself from the last one.  This means making sure that you are emotionally prepared for marriage, mentally prepared for it, spiritually engaged, and physically ready to be in a long term “forever” relationship again.  Any regrets or frustrations from your prior marriage must be completely washed away before you can even consider becoming married again.

Know your Spouse Better

The reason why so many marriages are doomed from the get-go is because they didn’t really know their spouse as well as they should have.  Though time isn’t the ultimate measurement of how well you know your spouse, studies have shown that the longer men and women dated prior to marriage, the greater their chances of having a successful marriage.  The more time you spend together, the more you will be ready to accept them and accept any changes that the relationship may go through together.  Make sure that you and your spouse have a few “ups” and “downs” prior to saying “I do” so you can see how you both can handle situations that may not be the most pleasant.

Change Happens

As mentioned above, change will happen.  Everything won’t be how it is today in your marriage.  You will argue and you will fight.  You will be ecstatic and you will be overjoyed with one another.  You will face challenges and you will face hardships together.  The key is that you stick together, no matter what the change may be and support one another through it.  Talk it out and communicate.  Never shut down on your partner and never shut out your partner – otherwise you’re simply asking for a one-way ticket to your second divorce.

Tags:  
Categories: Budget and Basics