The Childless Marriage: Every Bride and Groom’s Choice

December 5th, 20101:46 pm

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The Childless Marriage: Every Bride and Groom’s Choice

Within days after your wedding ceremony (or perhaps even before) you will start getting those questions about when you and your husband are planning on having your first child, or how many you’re thinking of having, or how far apart each child is going to be, and so on and so on.  For what ever reason, friends, family and even complete strangers feel that it is acceptable to ask these rather personal questions of a bride and groom.  To make things even more awkward, a lot of brides and grooms these days aren’t even planning on having children to begin with.  How can you tell your family and friends?

Be Upfront

If you start by lying right away and saying that you were thinking of having kids within the next 5 years, all you will be doing is moving that question forward by a year or two.  Then you will be right back to square one.  If you don’t have any intentions on having children, simply say so.  The choice is one for both you and your groom, and not one for the entire world to make.  If people prod and pry about why you don’t want children, kindly tell them that it was a decision both you and the groom agreed on and you don’t wish to discuss it further.

It’s None of their Business

Really, remind yourself of this: It’s none of their business!  Even if it’s your mother asking you, it’s a choice that both you and your groom have made.  This isn’t to say that you should be snippy and rude when asked the first time about when you’re having kids; again, kindly tell them you don’t have any intention of having kids.  You can decide whether you want to explain the reasoning or not.

Don’t Succumb to Peer Pressure

Your mother will tell you how wonderful children are.  Your aunt will tell you how wonderful children are.  Your cousins, friends, next door neighbor, and whoever else will tell you just how wonderful children are.  Make sure that you do not change your mind to have children simply because everyone else seems to want you to have them.

Tell Them to Stop

If you have one particular family member or friend who is constantly nagging about how you should have babies, you can simply tell them to stop their baby tirade.  Again, try to act with tact and be polite, even if this particularly persistent person is not.  You may have to say it a few times, but they will eventually get the point.

You can always Change your Mind

Some brides and grooms say right from the get go “I don’t want children!” and that’s that.  But others say those exact words and end up changing their minds later on down the road, especially if they are a young couple.  Of course, your family will be absolutely thrilled about this, but make sure that if you do decide to have kids that you and your groom do want to have kids.

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Categories: Budget and Basics