Help! How do I Write my Wedding Vows?

December 7th, 20107:32 pm

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Help!  How do I Write my Wedding Vows?

We all know how we feel about our partner, about the one we are about to marry.  It’s in our smile, it’s in our eyes, but is it ever hard to put things we feel are good enough and even worthy of being read on our wedding day into words!  If you are stressing over your vows, pause for a moment and check out these tips below to help you get the right words out in the right way.

Step 1: Check with the Officiant

Believe it or not, but some officiants have a strict policy against allowing a bride and groom to recite their own vows.  This may be due to religion (Catholicism and Episcopal churches often require that you recite the traditional vows) or it may be due to their own personal preference, so make sure you check with the officiant and see if there are any exceptions to the vow-writing rules.

Step 2: Write them Together or Apart?

More and more couples are choosing to write their vows together rather than scurry off to some corner of the house and write them secretly and separately.  Writing your vows together will allow you both to coordinate and compliment one another’s vows, and you can also make the same promises to one another on our big day.

Writing you vows separately will definitely cause a lot of anticipation for your partner, which can add a lot of excitement to your ceremony.  It really is just a personal choice.

Step 3: Outline your Vows

In order to stay on track with your vows that you want to write, it’s important to scribble a rough outline of how you want you vows to come out.  For example, you may want to start by talking about our first date, what made you fall in love with your fiancé (or spouse), a special memory that you have both shared, and the reason why you want to marry him or her.  Then you can follow up with the promises that you have chosen to make to your love and that you promise to keep.

Step 4: Keep it Short

As much as people do love listening to vows, if you have a long 10 minute speech there’s a good chance that your guests will be taking a cat nap. A good plan is to keep your vows between 2-3 minutes in length so as to hold both your partner and your guest’s attention.

Step 5: Recite it

A good way to see if you like the vows that you have written is to read them out loud, and to practice in front of a mirror.  That way, you can also practice just how exactly you want to appear as you recite them to your partner, and you won’t feel as embarrassed about how you may look in front of all of your many guests.  Try to memorize as much of your vows as possible to make it extra special for your partner.

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