Asking anyone to be part of your wedding party is a huge honor.  Anyone who you ask will feel blessed and love the opportunity to celebrate with you on your most special of days.  Sometimes choosing the wedding party isn’t so simple, however, especially if your groom wants his sister to be the maid of honor.

A bride can have anyone who she wants in her bridal part.  These days, it’s not uncommon for a good “guy” friend to be a bridesmaid to the bride (no, he is not obligated to wear a dress!).  People of both genders can be ushers and maids of honor and grooms men, or even the best man.  But it can be hard for a bride if her groom wants his sister to be the maid of honor when the bride has a different idea.

Consider having Two Maids of Honor

One way to appease your groom would be to have two maids of honor.  It’s your wedding day, so you can do what ever it is that you want!  Having two maids of honor means that you have an extra person to help out with all of the difficult planning, and you have two women who will be right by your side throughout the entire day.  Not such a bad idea!

Talk to your Groom

It’s important to make it clear to your groom, in as nice a way as possible, that your wedding is, well, your wedding.  Just as he gets to choose his best man and his groomsmen, you should also have the ability to choose your maid of honor and bridesmaids.  To force someone upon you as a “maid of honor” when you already had perhaps your sister, or your best girlfriend in mind is presumptuous and unfair.  You want to look back on your wedding day and love every choice you made, not regret any.

Talk to your Sister in Law

There is even a chance that your sister in law never even asked to be your maid of honor, and your groom simply made the assumption, or just wanted her to feel a bit more included.  A nice compromise is to ask your sister in law to be a bridesmaid, and to then set her aside and be honest about wanting to have a long time friend or someone from your own family who has been by your side through thick and thin to be the maid of honor.  Sometimes feelings do get hurt, but if you are kind and explain your position in a logical way, she is sure to understand.

Involve Her in the Planning Process

If your sister in law does seem incredibly keen on being a big part of your big day, then by all means include her in the planning.  Ask her to do some of the tasks that you need to have done, and include her when visiting vendors, doing taste tests, and checking out venues and wedding dresses.