How to Deal with an Unhelpful Bridesmaid

December 7th, 20103:06 pm

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How to Deal with an Unhelpful Bridesmaid

So you have asked a few special ladies to be your bridesmaids on your special day.  Almost every girl is going to squeal with delight and agree to be a bridesmaid.  What greater of a compliment is there than walking down the aisle with the bride on that wonderful day?

Unfortunately, a lot of bridesmaids don’t know exactly what they’re getting into when they say “yes” to becoming one.  Most bridesmaids see themselves in a pretty dress and at the center of attention, rather than being helpful to the bride during the many months leading up to the wedding day.  If you have a bridesmaid or two who just aren’t pulling their weight in helping with invitations, centerpieces, favors, booking vendors and appointments, and anything else you need help with, here are some things you can do to try and wake her up.

Ask them what they will Help With

So your bridesmaid hasn’t exactly been jumping in to help with anything so far.  A good way to gently remind her that she is a bridesmaid and therefore is required to help is to ask her what exactly she would be willing to do to help out.  Will she help with invitations?  Decorations?  The guest list?  If at the time you ask her what she would like to help with she says “I don’t know”, then follow up with her in a couple of days and ask again.  Suggest that you need her help with specific tasks, especially things you now she is either good at or enjoys.

Clarify the Role of a Bridesmaid

So the gentle coercion above didn’t work.  Then it’s time to get a bit more tough on your bridesmaid.  A good way of doing this is reminding her that you didn’t ask her to be a bridesmaid just because she is one of your good friends and you want her to be with you on your special day; you also need her help!  Follow up by asking for her help with a specific task, like picking out and putting together favors.

Get the Other Bridesmaids In on It

If all of the other bridesmaids are pulling their weight and she still isn’t helping out as she should, then it’s time to ask them to start mentioning to her just how unhelpful she is.  After all, what she doesn’t help with is just giving your other bridesmaids all the more work to do, something they surely aren’t too appreciative of.  They confronting the lazy bridesmaid may do the trick in finally getting her in gear.

Consider Letting Her Go

If the bridesmaid seems to be more of a hindrance than anything, then it may be worth considering letting her go.  Though it can be hard to “take away” the bridesmaid status once it has been given, the fact of the matter is that if she is too selfish to put any effort into helping you and the other bridesmaids out, she probably won’t be of much help on the wedding day, either.  Good friends support their friends, and having a lazy unhelpful bridesmaid is not someone being a good friend.

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