You and your future spouse may love each other, but your families may not. If you have a family that is not all too fond of the other family you are marrying into, this can cause a whole lot of stress and strain not only on the wedding planning process, but also on your future relationship!

Though may all seem lost at this point, you can still have both sides of your families get along. Here’s how you can try to diffuse any problems between you and your spouse’s families on your wedding day.

Plan Ahead

The best course of action to take in this case is to start trying to have both families cooperating and working together well before your wedding day. A good way to start is to choose the most impartial person from both sides of the family, and to then have them come with you to your different wedding appoints, such as choosing out a cake, flowers, or even the reception and wedding ceremony venues. Once those two seem to be getting along, it’s time to move onto the next group from each side. Bring them together, and have them participate with one another when making choices for your wedding. Try to work your way up until you get to the relatives who may be the hardest to convince that your future husband or wife’s family isn’t so bad!

It’s also a good idea to stage a bit of an “intervention”. Make it very clear to both sides of the family that this is your wedding day and that both families will forever be linked together from that day forward. You don’t want them making it difficult during family functions in the future, which can cause both sides of the family to see you and your spouse less and less just so you can both avoid conflict.

The Wedding Rehearsal

The wedding rehearsal is another good time to try and get both families working together. Plan to have both sides of the family help with decorations, and talk about subjects that you know both sides of the family will be interested in at the rehearsal dinner.

The Wedding Day

This is your day to be stress free – or at least as much as possible! The last thing that you should be worrying about is if Uncle Tom is fighting with Grandpa Joe from the other side of the family. If your families aren’t really bonding so well, try to keep them as separate as possible. Don’t mix families together at different tables during the dinner, and don’t encourage both sides of the family to dance together. Most brides and grooms are surprised to find both sides of the family talking and getting along partway through the reception because everyone is having fun (and liquor may play a role in that too).

After your wedding day, it’s still important to try and improve family relations between both sides of the family. Continue to ask both sides out to do things with you, even if it’s something as simple as going to the mall or going for a spa day. The key is to have them interacting and enjoying things together so that they can open up those communication lines and one day get along – or even become friends!